Hey-oh! And a happy holy Monday to you all. I had a blessed weekend. In case you all were wondering I work a straight five. I take off Friday evening through Saturday for Shabbos – yeah I totally need to get me a Shabbos goy. And I take Sunday off to preserve the Sabbath – cause I mean – who could be more Christian than Christ. Note: I did not say Xian. I’m really tired of all of this Xian, Xmas stuff. The only exception is if you’re trying to fit it into a tweet or somethin’. Then you totally have the JC stamp of approval.
Which brings me to the movie Dogma. Kevin Smith totally gets me. Nuff’ said. Which brings me to Alanis Morisette – seriously that song “Ironic”…those WERE NOT IRONIES. They were coincidences. Irony is: the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
So, I don’t want this to turn into Jesus’ Blog of Stuff that he bitches about. I mean if I were going to do that I’d just ask Loren Feldman to turn me into a puppet and – oh, wait – I am a puppet.
I preferred coming back this time around as a puppet as opposed to mankind for 2 reasons: cancer and poopin’. I don’t have to worry about either. Anyway, yeah…I don’t wanna’ be the kind of blogger who just finds easy targets – rips into them and has not much else to say besides that to back up my “status” as a blogger/video blogger/podcaster whatever. Loren – I know you’re not that angry. You’re really a big pussy cat. Give it up – and go give Shel a big hug. Seriously.
Jesus is a blogger, he also occasionally lays down a couple o bones on a pony or a ball game. People/Horses on Jesus’ shitlist: 1. Lebron james, c’mon if you’re going to speak in third person – win a game! I lost 4 large on that one. Jesus is not happy. 2. All of thoroughbred racing. Seriously, breeding used to be an art (no snickering – this is serious), now its a gimmick . Eight Belles break down was totally a predictable tragedy. Enough with the steroids, lets get back to sound breeding and horses that run more than 5 or 6 races – then off to stud. Rick Dutrow, I’ve got your number and its $70 million dollars. “Jesus Christ. Oh my God,” Dutrow said in an ESPN interview regarding his most recent win at the Preakness. I do NOT have your back on this, so please stop using my name in vain, and in interviews, and in the back rooms at Scores, and umm in general. I’m putting all of my money on two things 1) Casino Drive taking Big Brown at the Belmont and 2) Rick Dutrow blowing all his money on coke.
Hey’-oh!
